Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Too Tired and Theophany Envy

I must sleep tonight. I feel weary and I am about to do something that I never thought I would do here at BYU. But I think it will be fun. I hope it will be? I am trying to think of how I should do it. Let's hope I get some sort of idea.

I took my Spanish test today. Not too bad. Could have been better, could have been worse. I love Spanish though. I feel like I should major in it. But again, it comes back to the idea of God's plan for me. Sometimes I wish I could have a theophany. Not necessarily anything too grand. The facts are simple: I know God lives but I long to know Him better than I know Him now. I know I can do it through His mighty power. It is just a matter of patience.

God knows us. God gives us strengths and weaknesses for a very distinct purpose. Often in my internal theological debates, I wonder. I wonder a lot. As in the play Doubt, I have such doubt. But doubt is a catalyst to faith. Faith is a principle of action and action leads to knowledge. One of my weaknesses has been on my mind lately. I have been praying for divine help to help me understand it and cherish every moment. I know God will help me. He has in the past. And that's good news.


danadu101 said...

Jacob, you need to get your patriarchal blessing. i SWEAR it will help you. I was told that a million times before i got mine, and i just kind of brushed it off, but i know now that it's the absolute truth. it's such a reassurance.

p.s... good luck with coming up with an idea :)

Seagulljaap said...

Thanksgiving I am thinking. I am not sure. I just fear so much that I feel like it would help me.

danadu101 said...

it will help.. i have no doubt. to know, ultimately, what your life can turn out to be like is amazing. It's your own personal scripture, dedicated just to you. I know it's a big step. .it was for me too. But it's good.. there's nothing that can go wrong. It is a blessing, and it's the best blessing you can get.