Today was one of those days where I did not want to get out of bed on time. I would have rather stayed in bed for at least an hour and half longer. But I got out of bed, refused to take a shower, went to class, came back and listened to Legally Blonde for a bit, went to Cannon Center for Lunch with SarahJane. We ran into Carly, Romm, and Spencer, which was delightful of course. SarahJane told me about some happenings in her life that made me so happy. I couldn't even contain myself when I was walking with her, I was so excited for her. That's the best thing about friendships. You finally come to the realization that you love your friends so much that their joys become your joys, your joys become theirs. Also, their sorrows become yours, yours become theirs. I am grateful for friends. Saw Margo and SarahJane.
Then I took a nap. That was nice but I was running late for Civ. Walked there with Krista and Lauren. Griggs lecture was so interesting. I loved it because the Egyptians basically would have been/were Mormons. Three heavens, garments, endowments, baptism, etc. it all fits quite interestingly into the Mormon scheme of things. I think this lecture would have been even better if we were all endowed. I think the endowment will be fascinating. I really love this idea of being gifted with power from on high, mostly because I crave that so much. So I was a fan. Longer than needful, but still good.
Then we went to eat, progressive dinner Cougar Eat. Games, giggling. Ice skating after, dancing, eating, me falling a lot, scared to skate, loving the skating but hating the falling, wishing I could actually do it. Rachel hurting her poor foot. We drank hot cider and talked. I liked it a lot. Rachel is such a good friend, we had such a good time.
Came home. Played some hymns. I needed some alone time today. I needed it. And now I need sleep.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Peace and Solace
Today was a good day. Then again, I have been having good days in Provo lately. Today I got up a little late for Book of Mormon, but I made it there on time. Harriet and Elise (both of whom I promised to mention in my blog- despite their attempts to make me giggle with their limited ASL knowledge) walked in late. Silly children staying up late. Then RM and I went to the MSRB to wait for Honors 292R. I ran into Angela- we talked for a bit. That was nice. Then we went into the lecture room for my favorite Honors 292R lecture that we have had so far.
She talked about selling your birthright for a mess of pottage- becoming frauds in the modern world. People often use excuses and make themselves frauds. People deny the blessings of the Spirit, leave the Church, involve themselves in false attempts to find truths through sex, drugs, alcohol, and thus people make themselves frauds. She told us often God has more marvelous plans than we can imagine. I wonder about this for myself, as I am struggling to discover my purpose. This lecture was very spiritual. I can't quite express it in words. It was a spiritual experience and not an emotional one, as she said people often confuse emotional experiences for. She is behind a lot of LDS produced things- Fourth Witness (shout out to alea- he introduced this to me), the Testaments, the Hill Cumorah pageant, Finding Faith in Christ- the woman with issue of blood was her (? I am not fully sure- she mentioned something about that), and Emma Smith: My Story (with my new obsession with Emma, I almost freaked out when she said that). I loved her lecture. She was quite the teacher. That's what I love about 292R- the exposure to so many different wonderful professors.
A few other highlights from today: Civ-boring, piano-good,talking to Andrew on the phone about the protesters (which I will address in a moment) Welsh-good (I decided to take Welsh 102! I think...),dinner, visiting with my favorite SarahJane and her wonderful roommates Catherine, Margo and Ceci, Wall-E with Katie, Heeje, Peter, socializing, registering for classes (!) and now almost sleeping.
So when Andrew called me I was shocked about the news that people were protesting outside LDS temples but not really shocked at the same time. Prop 8 brought up a lot of emotions. I am saddened by these protests and feel that they are not the best way to resolve the issue. I am saddened in general, however. I love God and all men and harbor no resentment towards anyone. I wish they would pay me and my fellow Saints, even if we are not always worthy of that name, the same courtesy. As an American citizen, I support their right wholeheartedly to protest, but I am saddened that they lay the "blame" squarely on the Mormons who, while major financial bankers, are not the full reason it passed, in fact, they are not even the major reason it did.
I feel for the Saints in California who are trying their best to live like Jesus whether they opposed or supported the Prop. To them, if any of them read this, I offer this simple message from the words of one of my favorite hymns that has carried me through the toughest of times.
Alice Gifford- Where Can I Turn for Peace?
"Where Can I turn for peace,
Where is my solace when other sources cease to make me whole.
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart, searching my soul
Where, when my aching grows,
Where when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand
He, only One.
He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching,
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind
Love without end."
In this lifetime we will have our Gethsemanes. Our Golgothas. But remember, God will help you. Much like the sad Friday when Christ died, we will face days of challenge, heartache, namecalling, and just being hurt in general. But I promise you, like Elder Wirthlin has, Sunday will come. Whether it be here or in the eternities, it does not matter. God will not cast us off. He will send us angels to bear us up. Christ will hold us when we cry. I know this. I have languished. I have suffered. And I felt that healing hand in my life that only Christ can offer. He will succor us, no matter what the situation. In the deepest pit of despair, He will come to us. He may not relieve us of our challenges or even our problems, but I promise that he will come to comfort and bear us up. It may be through someone else. It may be through that person that you never thought you would meet. That person you prayed for for over 10 years in your life. It may be through that friend you thought you would never had. God listens.
God Himself atoned for your sins. Now let us go and proclaim the peace and solace He will bring to all that accept His atonement and come unto Him. All ye that are weary, find that peace and solace.
She talked about selling your birthright for a mess of pottage- becoming frauds in the modern world. People often use excuses and make themselves frauds. People deny the blessings of the Spirit, leave the Church, involve themselves in false attempts to find truths through sex, drugs, alcohol, and thus people make themselves frauds. She told us often God has more marvelous plans than we can imagine. I wonder about this for myself, as I am struggling to discover my purpose. This lecture was very spiritual. I can't quite express it in words. It was a spiritual experience and not an emotional one, as she said people often confuse emotional experiences for. She is behind a lot of LDS produced things- Fourth Witness (shout out to alea- he introduced this to me), the Testaments, the Hill Cumorah pageant, Finding Faith in Christ- the woman with issue of blood was her (? I am not fully sure- she mentioned something about that), and Emma Smith: My Story (with my new obsession with Emma, I almost freaked out when she said that). I loved her lecture. She was quite the teacher. That's what I love about 292R- the exposure to so many different wonderful professors.
A few other highlights from today: Civ-boring, piano-good,talking to Andrew on the phone about the protesters (which I will address in a moment) Welsh-good (I decided to take Welsh 102! I think...),dinner, visiting with my favorite SarahJane and her wonderful roommates Catherine, Margo and Ceci, Wall-E with Katie, Heeje, Peter, socializing, registering for classes (!) and now almost sleeping.
So when Andrew called me I was shocked about the news that people were protesting outside LDS temples but not really shocked at the same time. Prop 8 brought up a lot of emotions. I am saddened by these protests and feel that they are not the best way to resolve the issue. I am saddened in general, however. I love God and all men and harbor no resentment towards anyone. I wish they would pay me and my fellow Saints, even if we are not always worthy of that name, the same courtesy. As an American citizen, I support their right wholeheartedly to protest, but I am saddened that they lay the "blame" squarely on the Mormons who, while major financial bankers, are not the full reason it passed, in fact, they are not even the major reason it did.
I feel for the Saints in California who are trying their best to live like Jesus whether they opposed or supported the Prop. To them, if any of them read this, I offer this simple message from the words of one of my favorite hymns that has carried me through the toughest of times.
Alice Gifford- Where Can I Turn for Peace?
"Where Can I turn for peace,
Where is my solace when other sources cease to make me whole.
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart, searching my soul
Where, when my aching grows,
Where when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand
He, only One.
He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching,
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind
Love without end."
In this lifetime we will have our Gethsemanes. Our Golgothas. But remember, God will help you. Much like the sad Friday when Christ died, we will face days of challenge, heartache, namecalling, and just being hurt in general. But I promise you, like Elder Wirthlin has, Sunday will come. Whether it be here or in the eternities, it does not matter. God will not cast us off. He will send us angels to bear us up. Christ will hold us when we cry. I know this. I have languished. I have suffered. And I felt that healing hand in my life that only Christ can offer. He will succor us, no matter what the situation. In the deepest pit of despair, He will come to us. He may not relieve us of our challenges or even our problems, but I promise that he will come to comfort and bear us up. It may be through someone else. It may be through that person that you never thought you would meet. That person you prayed for for over 10 years in your life. It may be through that friend you thought you would never had. God listens.
God Himself atoned for your sins. Now let us go and proclaim the peace and solace He will bring to all that accept His atonement and come unto Him. All ye that are weary, find that peace and solace.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Chip on My Shoulder
I woke up today to a surprise. Proposition 8 passed. To be entirely honest, I was quite shocked. This is not the end of the fight, I assure you. There will be more legal battles than you can imagine. I don't think Prop 8 will stick but only time will tell. The surprising thing is how close it was/wasn't. I mean it was a dead heat for most of it, but it appears that it passed by enough of a margin to make it clear early on that it was going to pass. I will be curious to see how the 18,000 unions that have already happened will be handled.
Today was a pretty good day. Snow in Provo. Woke up on time to get out of the house by 8:35 to make it to class. Turned in our research papers, watched Obama and McCain's speeches. I was impressed by Obama to be honest, but something about his reminds me of some sort of "rhetrickery". And right now I am having a hard time differentiating between Spanish and English punctuation. I just realized it when I wrote that last sentence. Anyway. I went to mission prep, got confused by Bro. Bott and his view on Prop 8. It really is a testing period for the Church I think. As if the Church needed more testing, right? But in my opinion, I think how we respond in this situation will determine a lot. When we decide to follow the prophet or not, we do not leave our brains at the door. Proposition 8 proved to me that you can be a faithful Mormon and either support the prophet or still sustain the brethren but disagree with them on this issue. Ultimately, I think we have to take our question to the source. I definitely think there is a wise and glorious purpose for the Church's actions even if I will never understand them in mortality. I will press forward either way. In the end, I hope to cause no pain to anyone, but I realize that in pursuit of what I believe to be moral, I cannot always, in every situation be popular.
After mission prep, I wandered to the bookstore as usual. Looked around for a bit. I am starting to think about Christmas. Then I came home and saw that my Facebook note was still attracting many comments. It still is. Over 40 and still counting. Varying opinions, as stark as you can imagine. I stayed on Facebook for a bit then wrote my letter for Spanish. Then I went to the creamery and bought 14 dollars worth of groceries. Came home. Ate pizza. Went to Spanish. Enjoyed it, as usual. Coming along on that minor I think. I can't wait to take more Spanish. I would highly recommend my Prof. I really love Professor Fails! He is great. I would love to take an upper level Spanish class from him. After Spanish, I came home, texting Elise about BYU attitudes. I also texted RM and we had dinner together. Spaghetti, grapes, carrots, herbal tea. It was delicious. We watched the Simpsons.
Then we went to the missionary fireside for my class. It was great. I loved it. I felt bad cause at one point I was texting my friend about Prop 8 and one of my friends turned to me and asked me to stop texting. I wasn't offended, I actually felt way bad and got that guilty feeling I always get. Silly Jacob texting. Silly silly bad child.
Listening to Legal Blonde. I like this Chip on my Shoulder song. I feel like I have a chip on my shoulders at times. But not really. I just felt like that would be a good blog title. Being here at BYU, I feel inadequate sometimes. Everyone is so smart and has done so many great things. Then there's me. At least I have silliness to back me up.
Came home, practiced the piano, thought about how much candy I ate today. Oh well. And now it is almost time for bed.
Today was a pretty good day. Snow in Provo. Woke up on time to get out of the house by 8:35 to make it to class. Turned in our research papers, watched Obama and McCain's speeches. I was impressed by Obama to be honest, but something about his reminds me of some sort of "rhetrickery". And right now I am having a hard time differentiating between Spanish and English punctuation. I just realized it when I wrote that last sentence. Anyway. I went to mission prep, got confused by Bro. Bott and his view on Prop 8. It really is a testing period for the Church I think. As if the Church needed more testing, right? But in my opinion, I think how we respond in this situation will determine a lot. When we decide to follow the prophet or not, we do not leave our brains at the door. Proposition 8 proved to me that you can be a faithful Mormon and either support the prophet or still sustain the brethren but disagree with them on this issue. Ultimately, I think we have to take our question to the source. I definitely think there is a wise and glorious purpose for the Church's actions even if I will never understand them in mortality. I will press forward either way. In the end, I hope to cause no pain to anyone, but I realize that in pursuit of what I believe to be moral, I cannot always, in every situation be popular.
After mission prep, I wandered to the bookstore as usual. Looked around for a bit. I am starting to think about Christmas. Then I came home and saw that my Facebook note was still attracting many comments. It still is. Over 40 and still counting. Varying opinions, as stark as you can imagine. I stayed on Facebook for a bit then wrote my letter for Spanish. Then I went to the creamery and bought 14 dollars worth of groceries. Came home. Ate pizza. Went to Spanish. Enjoyed it, as usual. Coming along on that minor I think. I can't wait to take more Spanish. I would highly recommend my Prof. I really love Professor Fails! He is great. I would love to take an upper level Spanish class from him. After Spanish, I came home, texting Elise about BYU attitudes. I also texted RM and we had dinner together. Spaghetti, grapes, carrots, herbal tea. It was delicious. We watched the Simpsons.
Then we went to the missionary fireside for my class. It was great. I loved it. I felt bad cause at one point I was texting my friend about Prop 8 and one of my friends turned to me and asked me to stop texting. I wasn't offended, I actually felt way bad and got that guilty feeling I always get. Silly Jacob texting. Silly silly bad child.
Listening to Legal Blonde. I like this Chip on my Shoulder song. I feel like I have a chip on my shoulders at times. But not really. I just felt like that would be a good blog title. Being here at BYU, I feel inadequate sometimes. Everyone is so smart and has done so many great things. Then there's me. At least I have silliness to back me up.
Came home, practiced the piano, thought about how much candy I ate today. Oh well. And now it is almost time for bed.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
I am Putting Blood on My Doorposts
Today is election day. After what seems like four long years of campaigning, the 2008 Election has finally arrived. And here again, America is at a crossroads. This election will determine countless things in American history. Will we have the first African American president? Will we have a woman vice president? And possibly on the mind of everyone who is involved in the LDS Church: What will the outcome on Prop 8 be?
Recently I read a blog that likened Prop 22, the other California Prop about gay marriage, to the Children of Israel putting blood upon their doors as they did in Exodus 12:7 to save them from the destroying angel. I rather like this analogy. The Israelites did not know for what purpose they did what they did. They only knew that God had commanded them to do it. As a demonstration of faith, they did it. They trusted God and pressed forward and were blessed.
I have to be entirely honest with everyone here and now. I am saddened by the Church's actions in this regard. I love the Church with all my heart but I feel torn about this issue. It is not that I support gay marriage (in fact I am opposed to it) but I do not like the way that this has been handled. I find myself sick to think that so much mud has been slung and so many people have been hurt by this battle over the legal definition of marriage. On the other hand, however, I applaud the Church for taking a stand on what they believe to be an important issue. Good for them.
But I have my reservations about Proposition 8. I personally am of the opinion that the state should not be involved with marriage at all. Marriage is a religious sacrament, not a state issued institution. I believe that Civil Unions should be established for two consenting parties. Marriage should remain in the hands of the Churches. God ordained marriage between a man and a woman as a religious ceremony. Civil marriages, or those outside of the Temple of God, do not hold in the eternities. Only those marriages sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise are valid in the Kingdom of God. Only those who endure to the end and work with their whole hearts will keep their celestial marriages. All other marriages are just for one brief moment in mortality. So I cannot fully understand why the Church has taken this particular stance. Why here? Why now? Does this legislation prevent sin? I personally believe the Church is more concerned with the acceptance of the sexual sin of homosexual conduct more than anything, but I do not see how passing Prop 8 will change people's inclination to sin.
This being said, I return to my initial thought regarding the children of Israel. God asked them to paint the blood on their doorposts. They didn't know why. Through my interpretation this blood represents the atoning blood of Jesus Christ which saves us from the devil and his angels. But the key facet of this story is the fact that they did not know why they did it, they just did it. The Church provides reasons for supporting Prop 8 that I have heard countless times. I still do not understand why the Church is so adamant on their stance. I may never know. But because I have faith of God's presence in this Church and the divine nature of his leaders while I may doubt at times their motives, or other things. Here and now is where we must take a stand. Since I believe God and try to trust Him, my No on Prop 8 (which I would do most likely without the Church's influence) becomes a Yes on Prop 8. As for right now, I will paint the blood on my door and wait. And watch. And pray.
Lord I believe. Help thou my unbelief.
Recently I read a blog that likened Prop 22, the other California Prop about gay marriage, to the Children of Israel putting blood upon their doors as they did in Exodus 12:7 to save them from the destroying angel. I rather like this analogy. The Israelites did not know for what purpose they did what they did. They only knew that God had commanded them to do it. As a demonstration of faith, they did it. They trusted God and pressed forward and were blessed.
I have to be entirely honest with everyone here and now. I am saddened by the Church's actions in this regard. I love the Church with all my heart but I feel torn about this issue. It is not that I support gay marriage (in fact I am opposed to it) but I do not like the way that this has been handled. I find myself sick to think that so much mud has been slung and so many people have been hurt by this battle over the legal definition of marriage. On the other hand, however, I applaud the Church for taking a stand on what they believe to be an important issue. Good for them.
But I have my reservations about Proposition 8. I personally am of the opinion that the state should not be involved with marriage at all. Marriage is a religious sacrament, not a state issued institution. I believe that Civil Unions should be established for two consenting parties. Marriage should remain in the hands of the Churches. God ordained marriage between a man and a woman as a religious ceremony. Civil marriages, or those outside of the Temple of God, do not hold in the eternities. Only those marriages sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise are valid in the Kingdom of God. Only those who endure to the end and work with their whole hearts will keep their celestial marriages. All other marriages are just for one brief moment in mortality. So I cannot fully understand why the Church has taken this particular stance. Why here? Why now? Does this legislation prevent sin? I personally believe the Church is more concerned with the acceptance of the sexual sin of homosexual conduct more than anything, but I do not see how passing Prop 8 will change people's inclination to sin.
This being said, I return to my initial thought regarding the children of Israel. God asked them to paint the blood on their doorposts. They didn't know why. Through my interpretation this blood represents the atoning blood of Jesus Christ which saves us from the devil and his angels. But the key facet of this story is the fact that they did not know why they did it, they just did it. The Church provides reasons for supporting Prop 8 that I have heard countless times. I still do not understand why the Church is so adamant on their stance. I may never know. But because I have faith of God's presence in this Church and the divine nature of his leaders while I may doubt at times their motives, or other things. Here and now is where we must take a stand. Since I believe God and try to trust Him, my No on Prop 8 (which I would do most likely without the Church's influence) becomes a Yes on Prop 8. As for right now, I will paint the blood on my door and wait. And watch. And pray.
Lord I believe. Help thou my unbelief.
Bed is Beckoning
Today was a good day. Ish. That is. I went to class, laughed, giggled, got out early, talked, felt the spirit, pondered, etc. I answered Rachel to Preference after FHE, fun game time with sucking up Reese's pieces, etc. I am stressed. Need more sleep. Spanish test tomorrow coupled with BOM midterm that was pain and death and an awful monster. Bro Belnap would be proud that I used that just barely I hope. I am tired of typing.
Praying that election day works out. I am hoping that God will bless all to feel love and peace two of the fruits of the spirit.
Bed is beckoning. Sleep sounds wonderful.
Praying that election day works out. I am hoping that God will bless all to feel love and peace two of the fruits of the spirit.
Bed is beckoning. Sleep sounds wonderful.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
My Day
It's now my turn to blog a bit about my day. Today was my birthday of course. It was a good day. I was quite happy and pleased with it. Let's go through play by play.
I woke up this morning. Earlier than I needed to, of course. Daylight savings time always messes everything up. Sam was getting ready for Church and our alarms went off almost simultaneously. I lay in bed. I missed Elise's phone call. She sang me Happy Birthday on her phone. I showered. Sang. Thought about what I was fasting for. Love, peace, fellowship among the Saints and sinners among us. May the sinners come to a realization of their God and Lord and repent. May the Saints realize their weaknesses and come unto God and forsake themselves of all ungodliness. Church. Sacrament meeting. Good spirituality, no mention of Prop 8. Priesthood is what got me. I can't handle Prop 8 stuff anymore. I became frustrated. I will admit it. I support the brethren. But on this issue, I am torn. Officially torn. If I were in California, I do not know that I would vote Yes on Prop 8. I pray for love. Tolerance. Acceptance of opinion, not of sin. God knows His saints are not about to win any popularity contests. They shouldn't. I know I shouldn't. But I am a softie. I want everyone to feel loved and to be loved so that God can show His glory to them. That way they can change. Become true Saints. Sunday school was good. Got out early. Talked to Katie about things. Prophets and weaknesses- I can't think they are just men in touch with God.
Break the fast. Singing. Chicken, rice, sauce,etc. CES fireside. Rachel and I talking. Laughter. Then. Everything. From the candles in the blueberry muffins to Feliz Cumpleaños cookies. A card with Amy Adams as Giselle. Hooray. Preference asking involving extensive puns.
Praying for my friend. Fasting for her too. All will be well. All will be well.
I woke up this morning. Earlier than I needed to, of course. Daylight savings time always messes everything up. Sam was getting ready for Church and our alarms went off almost simultaneously. I lay in bed. I missed Elise's phone call. She sang me Happy Birthday on her phone. I showered. Sang. Thought about what I was fasting for. Love, peace, fellowship among the Saints and sinners among us. May the sinners come to a realization of their God and Lord and repent. May the Saints realize their weaknesses and come unto God and forsake themselves of all ungodliness. Church. Sacrament meeting. Good spirituality, no mention of Prop 8. Priesthood is what got me. I can't handle Prop 8 stuff anymore. I became frustrated. I will admit it. I support the brethren. But on this issue, I am torn. Officially torn. If I were in California, I do not know that I would vote Yes on Prop 8. I pray for love. Tolerance. Acceptance of opinion, not of sin. God knows His saints are not about to win any popularity contests. They shouldn't. I know I shouldn't. But I am a softie. I want everyone to feel loved and to be loved so that God can show His glory to them. That way they can change. Become true Saints. Sunday school was good. Got out early. Talked to Katie about things. Prophets and weaknesses- I can't think they are just men in touch with God.
Break the fast. Singing. Chicken, rice, sauce,etc. CES fireside. Rachel and I talking. Laughter. Then. Everything. From the candles in the blueberry muffins to Feliz Cumpleaños cookies. A card with Amy Adams as Giselle. Hooray. Preference asking involving extensive puns.
Praying for my friend. Fasting for her too. All will be well. All will be well.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Today is A Good Day
Today I went to lunch with my family. Not because I was just in town, but because tomorrow (technically today) is my birthday.
I was born exactly 19 years ago. I don't know what the weather was like, or what was going on in the news. I don't know how my siblings felt exactly or exactly what the circumstances of my birth were. I hear bits and pieces of the story. The way Mother felt on Halloween watching my siblings in a Halloween parade, Daddy being in Logan, the story of the nurse asking which of the party to take my mom to the hospital was pregenant, etc. But I really don't know much about my birth, per se. I don't know what purpose I came into the world for. I am still trying to figure that out.
And now I sit in my dorm room in Provo, UT. I don't know what I am doing at BYU. I don't know what my mission here upon the earth is. But something inside of me lets me know that somewhere, out there, beyond my mortal vision, my Heavenly Parents look down and smile upon me. I feel Their love as I try to live, repent, sanctify. Christ also looks down upon me and shows me His mercy. On the day of the anniversary of my birth, I am grateful that I have been blessed with such mercy. I feel His all encompassing love as I try to live the best I can to keep the commandments that He has lovingly set forth. I smile. I really do. For the first time in quite a while, I weep a little too on the day of my birth. But somehow this year, I feel born again. I feel born again.
I was born exactly 19 years ago. I don't know what the weather was like, or what was going on in the news. I don't know how my siblings felt exactly or exactly what the circumstances of my birth were. I hear bits and pieces of the story. The way Mother felt on Halloween watching my siblings in a Halloween parade, Daddy being in Logan, the story of the nurse asking which of the party to take my mom to the hospital was pregenant, etc. But I really don't know much about my birth, per se. I don't know what purpose I came into the world for. I am still trying to figure that out.
And now I sit in my dorm room in Provo, UT. I don't know what I am doing at BYU. I don't know what my mission here upon the earth is. But something inside of me lets me know that somewhere, out there, beyond my mortal vision, my Heavenly Parents look down and smile upon me. I feel Their love as I try to live, repent, sanctify. Christ also looks down upon me and shows me His mercy. On the day of the anniversary of my birth, I am grateful that I have been blessed with such mercy. I feel His all encompassing love as I try to live the best I can to keep the commandments that He has lovingly set forth. I smile. I really do. For the first time in quite a while, I weep a little too on the day of my birth. But somehow this year, I feel born again. I feel born again.
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