Friday Musings and Prayers

Lately I have been very happy but also a bit distraught in some ways. It seems that a particular clique has developed in my ward. I thought I had escaped in High School. Alas, it apparently is inescapable. How naive of me to think that I would escape human nature! I am not really mad about this, just somewhat disappointed. Cliques, I feel, diminish personal relationships and place greater value on hanging out rather than actually being true friends. I have felt a twinge of pain as I have experienced this, as for the first time it actually matters to me. When I came to BYU, I longed to avoid this social aspect of the college experience. Unfortunately, it is not avoidable. Part of me is very glad to not be involved in a clique, however. I want to be everyone's friend. Frankly, I don't really care about hanging out in a group, I want personal relationships. I want to have time one on one or in small groups. I want to be able to extend a hand of fellowship to people. I want to be kind to everyone. As tacky as I may sound, it is actually one of the most important facets of my existance. And while I may not like some people, I desire to be cordial and loving to all. The only pain that I feel from it is that perhaps in this process I have lost a friend here at BYU. Not really lost, our relationship is just not the same as it used to be. And how I long for it to return to the escapades of last semester. But, if not, I will continue. Life goes on and we find happiness. I feel passed over at times. I feel distant. But life will continue and I will go on despite this pain in my life. It really is a pain. Life is more painful than we would like. But with strength and prayer I know that I can do all things. Preachy. I know. Another pain. A friend of mine told me of the struggle of one of her very close friends. I will be pleading with God on their behalf. People need all the prayers they can get.

But I also had many other happy events. My prayers were answered on behalf of one of my friends. I was ever so worried about this friend as she has struggled with some particular issues in her life. I prayed extra hard for her. And my prayers were answered.

But what about when God doesn't answer my prayers? What happens if I don't regain that relationship with my friend that I ache for or when I pray for a burden to be lifted and it isn't or when I pray to be given strength to overcome something and then I falter. Does that mean God doesn't care or that my prayers aren't heard? Sometimes I like to see God answer all my prayers, all my fasts, all my aspirations. But more often than not, it isn't meant to be. In my heart, however, I turn to a song that has deeply touched me as I have struggled in life, particularly this semester.

1. Unanswered yet? The prayer your lips have pleaded
   In agony of heart these many years?
   Does faith begin to fail, is hope departing,
   And think you all in vain those falling tears?
   Say not the Father hath not heard your prayer;
   You shall have your desire, sometime, somewhere.
2. Unanswered yet? Though when you first presented
   This one petition at the Father’s throne,
   It seemed you could not wait the time of asking,
   So urgent was your heart to make it known.
   Though years have passed since then, do not despair;
   The Lord will answer you, sometime, somewhere.
3. Unanswered yet? But you are not unheeded;
   The promises of God forever stand;
   To Him our days and years alike are equal;
   “Have faith in God”; it is your Lord’s command.
   Hold on to Jacob’s angel and your prayer
   Shall bring a blessing down sometime, somewhere.
4. Unanswered yet? Nay, do not say ungranted;
   Perhaps your part is not yet wholly done;
   The work began when first your prayer was uttered,
   And God will finish what He has begun.
   If you will keep the incense burning there,
   His glory you shall see, sometime, somewhere.
5. Unanswered yet? Faith cannot be unanswered;
   Her feet were firmly planted on the Rock;
   Amid the wildest storm prayer stands undaunted,
   Nor quails before the loudest thunder shock.
   She knows Omnipotence has heard her prayer,
   And cries, “It shall be done,” sometime, somewhere.

I am happy. Contrary to the negative tone of this post, I am very happy. However, it is a bittersweet time in my life. But I am determined to, as one of my friends has said, take what comes my way and love it.

A Quick Blog on Lent

My Lent this year. First time I am actually doing Lent. I am still working out the details of my Lent.

But at least 5 days a week- Bed by 10:30 up by 6:30. I am hoping it works. It's my sacrifice. And to get me accustomed to missionary time.

Pray for me to make it work?

And also, I can know recognize the word koon in Thai songs. It means you.

More Thai

So I listen to Thai songs a lot. I really like their national pride. And so I am posting their national anthem. I wish I could sing it, but I can't quite yet. The only words I know are the last couple. Chai chai yo means hooray from what I can gather.

thai national anthem - thai

Les Rois Mages

I am addicted to this song now. And it's not even in Thai. Or a language that I speak.

Les Rois Mages "Tweedle Dee Tweedle Dum" - SHEILA

A Thought for the Day

Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed.
Has anyone’s burden been lighter today
Because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?

Then wake up and do something more
Than dream of your mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love.

There are chances for work all around just now,
Opportunities right in our way.
Do not let them pass by, saying, “Sometime I’ll try,”
But go and do something today.
’Tis noble of man to work and to give;
Love’s labor has merit alone.
Only he who does something helps others to live.
To God each good work will be known.

Then wake up and do something more
Than dream of your mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love.

I wondered a lot about this today. It was a day where I felt really quite busy, stressed out, and all together, not too hot, but I figure, if I lifted anyone's burden, caused someone to smile, even for a moment, I had done something worthwhile. In the end, it doesn't really matter how much I got done, but the quality of what I did get done. Taking time out of my schedule to comfort a friend is much more important to me than a grade on a test. Being there is more important than Facebook.

Am I trying to be like Jesus? Enough? Can I do more?

For People Off BYU Campus

For those of you off BYU campus, I am going to post a link of SeagullJaap opening his mission call. Today, the BYU filter must have had a slight glitch, so I got to see my reactions on film. Right after I finished with it, the filter went back up and I couldn't go back to review or tell people fast enough. Odd how things like that happen.

I have had a great day today. I finished the Book of Mormon. I will blog about my experience with that later. I also did all the things I felt like I needed to do earlier today. Now it is on to more homework. I send my blessings to all of my gentle readers.

Sabai Dee

So today I have been listening to this. A lot.

so close - Enchanted - Thai Version.mp3 -

And I finally understand one word! Sabai dee means fine, thanks. Dee appears to indicate a word for good/well/fine/happy. I couldn't believe it. Amidst all the tonal things that I couldn't even begin to understand, I picked up my first bit of Thai conversation. A simple phrase? Yes. But a phrase! This is a small victory in SeagullJaap's book. I am still listening to Thai obsessively but I have been getting back on the homework track. I just had to blog today since I haven't blogged recently. I am still so excited to go to Thailand so I have been a pretty good child lately. I have tried my best to keep the commandments and to VLOGROP everything. I have been trying my best to be focused on what God wants me to do. I feel so different from how I felt before my mission call. I feel more restless but more loving and more compassionate. I am praying this continues.