EFY 2009 - Not the Only one

So I haven't posted a lot lately. Life has been busy. From deciding on my major to tests and everything in between, I scarcely have much time to blog. But I have been thoughtful lately.Watch and live.

525,600

The other day one of my friends, who is the girlfriend of my second trainee posted on her Facebook
"525,600 minutes". Then I realized it was his one year mark as a missionary. It's pretty insane how fast time passes. I can remember the day that I got to country in Thailand and I can remember the day that I got him. And I remember the day that I finished my mission.  It all seems just like yesterday. And so this week, I have been thinking about what has happened in a years time.

I remember where I was around this time last year. In August of last year, my first trainee has left me and I got a new companion. I remember one of our first days together, we walked down the street , sat down and ate some waterfall pork and some papaya salad. Hot. Tired. But pretending to be enthusiastic about constant rejection. It was around this time last year that Elder Perich's trainee didn't get in the taxi with him. Thailand. Thonburi. Rejection.

The year before that, I was in Bangkapi. With my Dad. And we had no investigators. We worked hard, but it never seemed like we really had investigators. I remember one day where we stopped to cut the lawn with some Isaan workers outside a gas station.

The year before that, I was at the Y, learning how to be a freshman and meeting people that were either insane or cool.

Time flies eh?

These are the moments that make all of those difficult days in Thailand worth it. I will translate later, but if you can, plug it into a translator and see what you can make of it. This is from Brother Aa one of my recent converts in Roi Et. I love this man so much!

เมื่อวันเสาร์-อาทิตย์ที่ผ่านมา ผมไปร่วมประชุมใหญ่ท้องถิ่นที่จ.ขอนแก่น ผมได้รับเรียกให้รับใช้เป็นผู้ให้คำแนะนำประวัติครอบครับจังหวัดร้อยเอ็ดคู่กับ บ. เจริญ และได้เข้าอบรมในวันเสาร์ วันอาทิตย์ ผมได้รับการเลื่อนขั้นเป็นฐานะปุโรหิตแห่งเมลคิเซเด็ค พร้อมกับ บ.เจริญ และ บ.ช้าง ผมดีใจมากและได้ให้พรแก่ภรรยาเป็นคนแรก

Both Sides New

Failed Saints

I went to the temple a little while back. The temple is a magical place. I feel that within those walls we covenant to a higher level of discipleship.

Is this higher level of discipleship easy? No. Like many things in life, these covenants are not particularly easy or convienant. I remember one time on my mission, I was teaching a young man in the small Isaan town of Yasothorn. I was on exchanges with a young, jittery but good Elder. He was talking to this investigator, a nice but highly unreliable fellow, about how he had been unable to meet with them lately. His tongue tied, he told us about how his work was extremely demanding.

I turned to him and asked "Do you think there will be a time where keeping the commandments will be convenient?"

He stumbled on his answer.

"Well after this week it should be better. I should be able to keep the commandments after that."

But that's not the way the world works is it? Keeping the commandments isn't something easy or convenient. It won't be next week or even next year. We have a conscious decision to make. Mormonism isn't about punishment. It's about the development of a Saint. Granted, we all are failing sainthood. I am not a perfect Saint. We all have sin. We all have weaknesses. But the joy of Mormonism is that weaknesses aren't sins- weaknesses are morally neutral. It is what we decide to do with these weaknesses that will lead us to Sainthood.

Rambling. Again.

Life is just that way

I love this song. This is an ode to a friend who has a struggle I never knew he had.

Sunstone Proof

This is proof that I attended Sunstone. Angel Moroni. Made from BALLOONS.

Why I love Mormonism

Today while I was sitting in on a session of the Sunstone Symposium. Upon returning home, I was in awe at the religious devotion of the presenters at the Symposium. I met the doubters, the faithful, the active, the inactive and everyone on the Mormon spectrum. But somehow, we all feel connected to this religion. And what brings about this intense connection?

As I began to write this post, I thought of the past two years on my mission in Thailand. I thought of those hot days where I walked around in the sun hearing the same response from Thai people everyday. Every religion teaches us to be good. I thought of Thonburi. And I remember how I went out with my naive greenie to convert the world. Not because I am naive myself or because I felt that the world needed saving by me. But I feel that Mormonism brings a great deal of goodness to the table. I know that there are principles which are true.

I have friends that hate the word know. They think it sounds too concrete. And maybe to some it does. Anyway. That's a topic for a different day.

Then I thought of the days I taught Elephant, a stubborn investigator. The days I taught Number One, a young man full of potential. The days I taught Promise and Full of Merit. If one speaks of knowing, I know that these people were changed by the Gospel. I saw as Elephant became less stubborn, Number One was full of love, and Promise and Full of Merit repaired their broken marriage.

And then I flashed back to Gethsemane. BYU. My friend suffering in agony, admitted to the hospital. I thought of how Mormonism, while frustrating at times to this dear friend, loved her too. Loves her too. Then I remember getting a letter from her on my mission as she struggled with the temple. And my heart ached to help her. That's Mormonism in action.

And then I thought of my own personal pains. But in the end, the beauty of Mormonism lies in the fact that it is a great journey. A journey so beautiful that I cannot begin to describe it. Sunstone taught me that we are all in various phases of that journey. I love the Gospel.

Weaknesses

I have lots of weaknesses. Goliaths, if you will. But one of my weakest points has got to be my ability and talent to waste time. As a return missionary, I don't feel like I am super on top of time management. I spend lots of time well, wasting time. Any suggestions on how to get more organized and use my time more effectively?

My Homecoming Talk

Lessons from Thailand

My lifelong dream of eating rice everyday came true in the past two years. I also enjoyed Thai delicacies as fried grasshoppers, chicken feet, pigs feet, rotten fish sauce, and raw crabs. It was quite the experience. Thailand is an amazing place that is beautiful beyond description. There are three seasons in Thailand. Hot. Hotter. And hottest. These seasons are not very conducive to long suit pants and a tie. When I came back to America and didn’t sweat ever minute of every day, I felt sure something was amiss. Also, although I spent two years in Thailand, the Thai language was still extremely difficult. Thai is a tonal language with an emphasis on vowels. If you are not careful while trying to address a young child which is said น้อง you could accidentally say หนอง which means swamp or น่อง which means drumstick. You could also accidently say that God slapped Joseph Smith rather

than answered his prayer because the difference between the two words is ตอบ and ตบ. I made many such small language errors in my time in Thailand.

To give you a bit of background on the Thailand Bangkok Mission, my mission covers all of Thailand, Burma (Myanmar) and Laos. There are no proselytizing missionaries in Burma or in Laos. There are service missionaries in both of these countries with a rather large branch in Laos. There are about 2,000 active members in five districts and one stake in Thailand. The stake is located in Bangkok with one district a short distance north of Bangkok and another in the Northwest region and three in the Northeast region. The closest temple is in Hong Kong. Most members are first generation members and the only members in their family. Recently, the Thai scriptures were revised and retranslated, with a new triple edition being published this last fall.

I remember waking up every morning for four and a half months about a year into my mission, facing another day of miles and miles of walking in the Bangkok heat and rain, wondering what we were doing here in ธนบุรี, the western side of Bangkok. I had moved there from เชียงใหม่ with my new companion who was fresh from America and could hardly speak Thai. We opened a new area, meaning that before there was only one set of Elders and we came to open it up to another set of Elders. This meant that we started out with nothing. The night we arrived in ธนบุรี, we walked up to a cramped apartment that barely had room for two people. I fell ill at one point due to the living conditions, fainting in an elevator and making a trip to the hospital to find out it was nothing very serious. As far as proselytizing, we walked down every ซอย, talking to everyone we saw. And yet we never had real investigators. One day we had several planned appointments but they all fell through. We found ourselves stuck at วงเวียนใหญ่, the largest roundabout in Thailand, extremely wet. When we realized that we needed to go to our next appointment, we tried to find a taxi. Every taxi rejected us, telling us that traffic was too bad due to the rain to go to our destination. After weeks of rejection, I was tired. I started to cry. And it wasn’t the first time I had cried since I had moved into the area. My greenie looked at me with love and concern in his eyes. I told him to forget the appointment. We would never make it on time with the weather conditions. And then we went home. At this point in my mission, I was wondering what I was doing in ธนบุรี, let alone Thailand. No investigators. Only walking, sweating, struggling. I thought back upon the words of Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail. D&C 121 1- 6. What could this possibly mean?

Fast forward three months later. I had moved to a small farming community of 32,000 in Northeastern Thailand called ร้อยเอ็ด. My companion, another greenie, and I sat in the living room of Sister เอ๋ a member of four years and a former relief society president and her husband ช้าง, who had once been a disinterested investigator of four years. The branch president, his wife and their sister-in-law were also there. Sister เอ๋’s house had two large pictures of the Salt Lake Temple, two giant hints to her husband. These represented her efforts of four years to help her husband come to Church and learn with the Elders. As we sat there, ช้าง told us of his baptismal interview and his reading of the scriptures. ช้าง wasn’t what one would call a golden investigator. From the first day I met him, I was very doubtful that this longtime investigator could actually change, let alone be converted. He didn’t pay attention in our lessons and it felt as if his wife was dragging him along to learn. On the day his young son was baptized, my companion and I found him in the hall, staring at a picture of the temple. I asked him “ช้าง, do you want to go to the temple?” And he gave us that sly smile he would give us at times and said “I want to go.” After that and some loving assistance from both his wife and my companion and I, we saw ช้าง begin to change his life. He read the scriptures for the first time in his life. He began to pray daily. They began to pray as a family. And then attended Church together, ช้าง even dressed up in a white shirt and a tie. My companion joked with me, saying that the way we knew ช้าง really changed was how he, instead of Sister เอ๋, served us the water. (explain about Thai tradition of serving water) Before we went into the lesson, the branch president’s wife, skeptical of the change in ช้าง, told us that she we have to see it to believe it. On this particular day, we wanted to ensure that ช้าง understood his testimony. We read from 3^rd Nephi 11- Verse 1-7. Like the people of the ancient days that saw the signs of Christ death, ช้าง had many signs that the gospel was true. We stopped at verse seven. We told ช้าง that he is a beloved Son of our Father in Heaven. And then we asked ช้าง to kneel with us in prayer to ask God to confirm his testimony. After he said his heartfelt prayer, we all sat down again. And ช้าง had received his answer. We started to talk. I thought back of all those days where I walked down every ซอย in ธนบุรี, wondering when or if we would ever find investigators. And somehow, it all seemed to not matter at that point. As I started to talk to ช้าง, I felt such intense love for this family. And I wept. But this time, it wasn’t out of frustration; it was out of gratitude and pure joy. I told him I felt like I had finally made a difference in the life of one of my brothers.

So, why do I tell these two contrasting stories? To say that missionary work is the best two years of your life is an accurate statement, but the best two years doesn’t mean the easiest two years. As I served my mission in Thailand, I learned the true meaning of the word love. Today is Pioneer Day, a day where we remember the love of all those pioneers who crossed the plains, despite persecution, heartache, sorrow, trials, tribulation. Love is pressing forward. 2^nd Nephi 31:20 “Wherefore ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.” As I served my mission in Thailand, I learned of the love of God for us, the love we must have for others, the power of love in conversion, and the importance of loving ourselves.

One day, after a long period of proselytizing in ธนบุรี with my second companion in that area. We came home exhausted, as usual. My body had never been quite as tired as it was in ธนบุรี. We walked everywhere in the grimy Bangkok heat, looking for people to teach. We went out everyday, inviting people to learn about Christ, and always faced the typical responses “Every religion teaches us to be good.” “Oh you came with Jesus?” “I am Buddhist”. Or the responses of those even less interested - a hand wave that meant please go away, telling us thank you and goodbye in English, etc. I love Thai people. I love their culture, their food, their country. I love everything Thai. To face this kind of rejection day in and day out became exhausting. Sitting in our barebones apartment, I looked at the map of Bangkok. There are over nine million people in Bangkok, covering a large area. And I realized something. As we invited all these people to come unto Christ, we became acquainted with the feelings of our Father in Heaven. Our Father in Heaven loves us no matter what, but faces constant rejection. All those people that we talked to were children of God. As the Nephites realized the destruction that had taken place around them, God spoke to them in the darkness, teaching them of this love. 3^rd Nephi 10:5. Our Father in Heaven faces rejection everyday from his own children. Despite my frustration and discouragement, I knew that these children of God needed my efforts. If they accept the message is not for me to determine. As much as God loves His children, even He cannot force them to accept His Gospel or to love Him. Love is a conscious choice. From the time I arrived in Thailand, I felt a special connection to Thai people. And as I came to feel of that love our Father in Heaven has for the Thai people, I witnessed many miracles. That doesn’t mean that ธนบุรี got easier. In fact, we never had any investigators in that area my entire 4 ½ months there, despite doing the best we could. This love, however, was not in vain. Recently, I returned to ธนบุรี my last Sunday in Thailand with my parents. A man walked into sacrament meeting that I had met while teaching weekly English classes as our community service in ธนบุรี. When he saw me, he was shocked and very excited. He came in holding a well-read copy of the Book of Mormon. เป้, a thirty year old man, had attended English classes while I was in ธนบุรี but we had never taught him the Gospel. I loved teaching English classes. Teaching English became my passion on my mission and so I tried to make English as fun as I could. And I loved all of my English students. When เป้ met my parents, he called me his first Elder. I had simply taught English to him every week with a short spiritual thought at the end of the class. After I had left the area, the Elders eventually invited him to learn more, which he willing accepted. This last week, เป้ was baptized and today he was confirmed. We never know the difference that simply loving someone can make.

To tell Thais that they are children of God is a foreign concept for them. Thais have no conception of God. Buddhism does not mention a Supreme Being or creator. In fact, the word for God in Thai is a word invented by Christians from vocabulary used to speak about royalty. Once they did understand their relationship to God, they desired to know Him. เอก was a young college student in my first area who joined the Church shortly after I arrived in Thailand. He was from a small town in Northeastern Thailand but had come to study economics in Bangkok. He later told his story of meeting the Elders. One day, while enjoying a day at the local mall in บางกะปิ, a suburban area on the east side of Bangkok he came across the Elders. One of the Elders reached out to shake the hand of a beggar, smiling at him and chatting with him. เอก saw a tall ฝรั่ง who could speak clear Thai talking to a beggar. In Thai society, beggars are mostly ignored. But that day, in that Elder, เอก saw the love of God manifest. When the Elders gave him a small flier for English class, he later attended and because of the example of this Elder who knew that this beggar was a child of God, he learned with the missionaries and is now preparing to serve a mission. If people understand that they are children of God, their outlook changes. “I am a child of God and He has sent me here. I am a child of God and so my needs are great. I am a child of God. Rich blessings are in store. I am a child of God. His promises are sure.” It has been said “If you could catch the vision of the person God intends you to be, you would rise up and never be the same again.” As I saw in the lives of Thai people, this knowledge of their worth as a child of God, led them to give up addictive substances, forgive others, totally change their relationships with family members, and become more like our Savior, Jesus Christ. I think of Sister นาง and her husband Brother อ๋า who were reluctant investigators but were referrals from the branch president. นาง began to pray and she told us at one point that she loved to pray because as she prayed, she felt that her Father in Heaven came and sat beside her to listen to her prayer. They both changed their lives as I saw the light of Christ entered their lives. Later, I met Brother สัญญา and Sister บุญมี whose family had been plagued by Brother สัญญา’s alcoholism. But as their dear family friend introduced them to the Gospel, he gave up his alcohol within a matter of days. Their family became more loving and they were simply so happy. Or I think of another family I taught, Brother เจริญ and Sister พงษ์พักตร์, who saw how their family grew closer together as they read the scriptures, prayed and attended Church as a family. Sister พงษ์พักตร์ once said to me “We have received so many blessings from God. Our family has changed so much.”

Thais have a complex pronoun system that involves using family pronouns. For example, whenever we would meet someone on the street for the first time we would use the appropriate pronoun for their age. If they were the age of our older siblings, we would use the word for older sibling. If they were the age of our grandmother, we would use the word for grandmother. There was no distinction in the word used for an actual family member and someone you had just met. I loved this. Everyday we would go out and talk to Thais. But it wasn’t like we were just talking to people from a place 8,000 miles away with different culture, customs and food. We were talking to our brothers, our sisters. Moroni 7:48. As we prepare for that day when we shall see Christ as he really is, we must come to see our brothers and sisters as they really are, children of the highest God. Jesus once taught a parable about sheep and the goats - Matthew 25:31- 46. We have a decision before us. We can decide to be a goat, seeing those around us as simply co-inhabitants, each left to struggle for his own life or we can decide to be a sheep, seeing our brothers and sisters as we would see Christ and treating them as we would treat Him. In order to prepare for that day, we have to love those around us as we would love our brothers and sisters.

Love is the greatest power in the universe. Love has the power to change people’s hearts. When Brother สมลัค was first baptized, เจี๊ยบ, his wife, did not like the Elders. She was suspicious of foreigners who taught Christianity. The Elders worked to gain เจี๊ยบ’s trust by dusting the shelves in their small convenience store. After a period of time, she saw the Elder’s intention and started to open her heart. She saw that her husband, an alcoholic most of his adult life had left behind all of his vices. He loved Christ and loved the Gospel. This love touched เจี๊ยบ and while still reluctant, agreed to learn with the Elders. เจี๊ยบ seemed very wary of our efforts to help her read the Book of Mormon and pray daily. But, as time passed, เจี๊ยบ saw the power of the Gospel as she read the Book of Mormon and prayed with her family. Her husband’s love influenced her to learn more. She was baptized and helped her son from a previous marriage to also come into the Church.

In the case of เอ๋ the former relief society president and her husband ช้าง, investigator of four years, the family that I mentioned earlier, her love for him opened his heart. And then as my companion and I began to see ช้าง as more than just a stubborn investigator who refused to keep commitments and started to love ช้าง more and more, that power of love allowed him to be receptive to the Spirit and change. The power of love brought about the atonement of Christ. Alma 7:10-12. Christ loved us and because He loved us, he suffered all things for us. When we believe in the ability of others to change, we believe Christ and His promises. When we do not believe that others can change, however, we deny the atonement and its promised blessings. In the case of ช้าง, he needed someone to believe in him. And at first, I did not believe that he could change. God, however, taught me that the power of love can change people. We must make the decision to love. During ช้าง baptisimal interview his wife, Sister เอ๋, told me of her dream to go to the temple. She considered going by herself, almost giving up on her husband and her dream of attending the temple. But after praying, she felt impressed that she should wait for a little while longer, having a bit more patience. After ช้าง was interviewed for baptism, he surprised me by asking me to be the one to baptize him. The day of his baptism, I felt a love that is indescribable for him and his family. 1st John 4:7. I came to know God more that day. After his baptism, ช้าง, a changed man who loved his family even more and wanted the best for them, stood to share his testimony. During his time as an investigator, ช้าง expressed that he did not have faith in Christ. Faith in Christ must stem from a love of Him. As ช้าง felt loved, he opened his heart to feel the love that the Savior has for each and every one of us. His testimony was simple, he said “I believe in Christ. I will be spiritually strong and I will lead my family to be an eternal family.”

God loves us. On my mission, I learned that I must come to love myself. There were times of discouragment and times of trial. That is a guarntee of life. The Gospel is not an insurance against pain or suffering but rather the source of hope when we enconter such problems in our lives. At one particularly stressful time of my mission, I thought of the answer of God to Joseph Smith in D&C 121:7-8. As we rely on our Father in Heaven, everything will turn out. Choosing to rely on our Father in Heaven and keeping his commandments aren’t always the most convienant choices but they are the right choices. As I often said to myself in my mission, doing the right thing isn’t always the easiest thing but it’s always the right thing to do. When we know who others are, we cannot forget who we are ourselves. As children of God, we must come to forgive ourselves and love ourselves despite past mistakes. That’s what repentance is all about. Repentance is about change. The Gospel is about change. And change, as I have said, is all about love.

I know that my time in Thailand taught me many things. Love is simply one of the many lessons that I learned. This powerful force in the universe changed the lives of Thai people and it can and will change the lives of all those who seek it. One of my favorite scriptures from my mission summarizes what we must do to gain access to this love. Moroni 10:32. So may we come unto Christ and be perfected in Him. I will now bear my testimony in Thai.

Normal

Ever since I got back from my mission, I have been struggling for the sense of normalcy that I want so badly. There are certain things that I cannot change about the past. The future is mostly a matter of us deciding to make the best of it. We mustn't live in the past. We must live in the future. Granted, there are things that we wish we could change. But as humans, we cannot nor will we change the past. We must be เข้มแข็ง. I have said this often- doing the right thing isn't always the easiest thing but it's always the right thing.

Things will get more normal. If it's any consolation, I practiced the piano and got swimming today. Life is good. It just takes time to adjust maybe?

Chaaanges

So since I got home I have realized that the world is constantly changing. Here's a list of some things that change. Or not.

1. My new phone has a better camera than some cameras you can buy out there.
2. Our house has an exercise bike. Untouched.
3. We got a new TV for our basement.
4. My mom's still as adorably stressed out as ever- so maybe that's not a change.
5. I miss Thailand.
6. I am too lazy to post daily.

Comings and Goings

No one can probably remember this blog. It's ironic how time flies. My mission over the past two years has been a colorful experience.

Have you ever tasted Thai food before? It's a flavorful experience. Thais love the contrast of life. Food is hot and sweet. Bitter and sour. I imagine that life is a little bit like that. My mission was full of hot and sweet. Bitter and sour. There are things that must be resolved. Memories that must be reconciled. But luckily there's much time to resolve those things.

There are a few things that I did learn on my mission. I learned that doing the right thing isn't always the easiest thing. But it always is the right thing. That is something that I have come to face as I have dealt with various situations over the past two years. But if there is one thing that I have learned from this is that God loves us.

God isn't some abstract concept that we create as humans. God is our Father in Heaven. And granted, sometimes he seems like a pretty crappy dad. Sometimes he left me to suffer, left me in pain, but then other times He's a great dad- from seeing the change in Brother Chaang and his family, to feeling like my mission was a success, to meeting one of my best friends in my last companion who's a Thai. God's a great dad. It's just sometimes life sucks. And that's okay.

I loved my mission. And now it's back to America. And so real life begins.